with your own penis?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
