Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
