I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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