The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
