My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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