literally had 100 drinks last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
