the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
