They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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