turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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