the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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