I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
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They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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