its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
