even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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