so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
