Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
