I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
