just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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