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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...

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• (415): View more from California

  He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.

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• (585): View more from New York

  All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.

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