They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.