Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
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I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
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What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.