I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay