we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
