I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's great music for shaving your balls
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
