Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
