epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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