I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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