She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
