So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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