alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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