is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
