I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
