I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
