Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
