i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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