is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
