i just had sex bonerless
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
