Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
