Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
