The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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