She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
