This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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