even my farts smell like vagina
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
