apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
