Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.

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  (405): It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him. http://tfl.nu/10ee
  Replies (25) Good night (1398) Bad night (1594)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8214) Bad night (623)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I think you know the answer.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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  (248): What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks. (810): I think you know the answer. (248): How can I marinade myself in Vodka? http://tfl.nu/cvlx
  Replies (12) Good night (3838) Bad night (670)
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  (951): View more from California

  My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

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  (951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate? http://tfl.nu/77q7
  Replies (77) Good night (7005) Bad night (1152)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK

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  (551): Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK http://tfl.nu/f4xz
  Replies (6) Good night (3692) Bad night (942)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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  (904): Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is. http://tfl.nu/v4zj
  Replies (49) Good night (9237) Bad night (1358)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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  (775): Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8nek
  Replies (11) Good night (2436) Bad night (1660)
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  (347): View more from New York

  A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

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  (347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn
  Replies (13) Good night (3158) Bad night (1115)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.

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  (248): Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated. http://tfl.nu/1crf
  Replies (21) Good night (2049) Bad night (2927)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.

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  (902): hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help. http://tfl.nu/mkef
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (3135)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.

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  (520): I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck. http://tfl.nu/n97c
  Replies (8) Good night (2708) Bad night (1131)
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  (631): View more from New York

  if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org

  (516): View more from New York

  .org?

  (631): View more from New York

  yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.

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  (631): if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org (516): .org? (631): yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night. http://tfl.nu/4hpr
  Replies (8) Good night (2814) Bad night (586)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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  (904): In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name. http://tfl.nu/nb8i
  Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (448)
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  (626): View more from California

  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
  Replies (12) Good night (1412) Bad night (534)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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  (406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35
  Replies (10) Good night (1418) Bad night (368)

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