Texts From Last Night

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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

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  (306): I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher. http://tfl.nu/r85b
  Replies (8) Good night (3167) Bad night (685)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show

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  (202): Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show http://tfl.nu/lemk
  Replies (22) Good night (2892) Bad night (760)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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  (908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv. http://tfl.nu/oqts
  Replies (61) Good night (10891) Bad night (1943)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6458) Bad night (1065)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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  (313): he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7 http://tfl.nu/fzvy
  Replies (3) Good night (2341) Bad night (848)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.

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  (902): FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk. http://tfl.nu/vuiq
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (1341)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (3059) Bad night (1530)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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  (+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa
  Replies (2) Good night (1872) Bad night (853)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?

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  (403): In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/dmf6
  Replies (7) Good night (1640) Bad night (693)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!

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  (765): Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you! http://tfl.nu/2ivd
  Replies (5) Good night (1728) Bad night (624)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

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  (585): He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants http://tfl.nu/sshj
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (472)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada

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  (775): Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada http://tfl.nu/dfei
  Replies (1) Good night (673) Bad night (339)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

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  (773): I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever. http://tfl.nu/ci2r
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (712)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.

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  (423): New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class. http://tfl.nu/ex1j
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (353)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.

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  (937): Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist. http://tfl.nu/ypin
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (205)

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