he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!