Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...