What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.