I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
