Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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