You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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