I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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