Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize