I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
