if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Girls should come with a carfax report
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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