Michael Bay diarrhea
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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