I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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