You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I forgot wine drunk hurts
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
