I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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