I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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