I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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