I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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