Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
