Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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