Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
