I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
