I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
