i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
