sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize